Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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