Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
