Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
