You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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