if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
