big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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