Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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