i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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