Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
