I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
