His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
