Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
we should paint friendship bongs
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
