he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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