then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize