I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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