good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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