we should wear snuggies to the strip club
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
