we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
