I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
