He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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