Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
