I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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