im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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