So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
