Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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