I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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