the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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