I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
