The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
