i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
