There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
