So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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