she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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