Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
