i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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