its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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