so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
