i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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