He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
