pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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