just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
