Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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