lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
