He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize