Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
