Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
