Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
