I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
