And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
