Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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