So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
my poor anus
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
