So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
