That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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