I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
