We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
