Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
50% drunk capacity currently
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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