why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize