her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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