yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
