I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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