I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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