shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
