we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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